Too Many People in Our Bed

As a working mom of two young children, I’m pretty busy most of the time. Since we are expecting our third child, I think I’ve moved into a new category of people. I’m officially weird. For those of you who know me, you may say this has nothing to do with the children, but bear with me.

Many who see me often seemed surprised that I’m expecting another child. I’m not sure why. There’s the obvious: You already have a boy and a girl. And your point is? I actually had someone tell me that they did not know I was expecting another one. They followed with, “Was it planned?” Wow. How bold and how very personal. What goes on in my bedroom is now the public’s business!

I don’t see the big deal. I’m happily married for over 9 years. We have jobs and support our own children. Our current children are happy and healthy. Did I mention, I’m married? People have asked me if I’m happy about the baby? How do you respond to such ludicrous questions?

I’m appalled that someone would ask me if my child was planned or if I’m happy about it. I should have answered in an equally insane way. “Actually this child is not mine, I’ve agreed to be a surrogate for a coworker. Don’t worry, they’re paying me well.” The sad fact is that many would accept this answer better than that we simply wanted another child in spite of the fact that we have 1 boy and 1 girl already. Our society is so strange…

Our children are blessings, and I think I’d have 20 if we could afford it and if they didn’t all come from me!

5 Comments

Christina

September 4, 2009 at 12:49 am

The question that offended me the most during my pregnancy was asked by a woman at my church! I told her that we found out at the ultrasound that we were expecting a girl. She actually looked at me and asked if my husband was disappointed that we were not having a boy!!!!! My husband has never, ever expressed a desire for one gender over the other. He was thrilled the baby was healthy and at the prospect of becoming a father.
I have always thought that people as kind and giving as you and your husband should have lots of children as you so obviously have so much love to give a child!! I can't wait to meet this precious little girl when she is born!!

My life as a Home Engineer

September 4, 2009 at 1:27 am

WOW people really are too bold and nosey too. I got told twice already "you have your boy and girl don't have anymore.". It's weird in the Bible days the women were distraught who weren't able to have any and now if a woman can have a child she wants to wait as late as possible and have the very least possible. Women are treated so well the first pregnancy and they're treated ok the next one (as long as the baby is an opposite sex then the first). Well if it's any consolation the Duggar lady is expecting her 19th baby 🙂

Barbie

September 4, 2009 at 2:20 am

I wonder if people even realize how rude and tacky they are being when they make those comments. I also find it extremely annoying when someone, says, "Oh, are you done having children now that your husband finally got a boy?" (we have 3 girls and a baby boy). As if we only kept have children solely to achieve the goal of birthing and raising a male! I'm really confused by that, my husband loves his daughters just as much as he would love any son and so I don't understand why people think men need to have a boy and women need to have a girl, as if we are not capable of fully loving a child of the opposite gender. People are so weird.

Babetta

September 6, 2009 at 10:24 pm

Thanks for your responses! I'm glad I'm not alone in my experiences. Then again, maybe I wish I was. Thanks for sharing and for your kind words. I expect ignorant statements from those who have never had children, but I'm stunned when they come from other mothers.

Kish

September 7, 2009 at 1:56 am

People can be quite nosy when it comes to having kids. I personally don't have any kids and I don't want any. Not that they aren't cute or the funniest people alive but it's something I've never wanted. I get all kinds of questions like, "Why don't you want any?" or "What are you going to do when you get older? Whose going to take care of you? I say I hope God takes care of me. But congrats to you and your husband.

Christina

September 4, 2009 at 12:49 am

The question that offended me the most during my pregnancy was asked by a woman at my church! I told her that we found out at the ultrasound that we were expecting a girl. She actually looked at me and asked if my husband was disappointed that we were not having a boy!!!!! My husband has never, ever expressed a desire for one gender over the other. He was thrilled the baby was healthy and at the prospect of becoming a father.
I have always thought that people as kind and giving as you and your husband should have lots of children as you so obviously have so much love to give a child!! I can't wait to meet this precious little girl when she is born!!
My life as a Home Engineer

September 4, 2009 at 1:27 am

WOW people really are too bold and nosey too. I got told twice already "you have your boy and girl don't have anymore.". It's weird in the Bible days the women were distraught who weren't able to have any and now if a woman can have a child she wants to wait as late as possible and have the very least possible. Women are treated so well the first pregnancy and they're treated ok the next one (as long as the baby is an opposite sex then the first). Well if it's any consolation the Duggar lady is expecting her 19th baby 🙂
Barbie

September 4, 2009 at 2:20 am

I wonder if people even realize how rude and tacky they are being when they make those comments. I also find it extremely annoying when someone, says, "Oh, are you done having children now that your husband finally got a boy?" (we have 3 girls and a baby boy). As if we only kept have children solely to achieve the goal of birthing and raising a male! I'm really confused by that, my husband loves his daughters just as much as he would love any son and so I don't understand why people think men need to have a boy and women need to have a girl, as if we are not capable of fully loving a child of the opposite gender. People are so weird.
Babetta

September 6, 2009 at 10:24 pm

Thanks for your responses! I'm glad I'm not alone in my experiences. Then again, maybe I wish I was. Thanks for sharing and for your kind words. I expect ignorant statements from those who have never had children, but I'm stunned when they come from other mothers.
Kish

September 7, 2009 at 1:56 am

People can be quite nosy when it comes to having kids. I personally don't have any kids and I don't want any. Not that they aren't cute or the funniest people alive but it's something I've never wanted. I get all kinds of questions like, "Why don't you want any?" or "What are you going to do when you get older? Whose going to take care of you? I say I hope God takes care of me. But congrats to you and your husband.