gratitude,  life lessons,  love,  spirituality

My Secret Thoughts

October 21, 2011 /

I want to tell you that things have been extremely hard for us lately. Our cars are all in disrepair. Our finances are truly inadequate. There have been times in the last few months when I have questioned God. I have yelled at Him. I have doubted Him. I have quite talking to Him. I have experienced such a range of emotions that I thought I was losing my mind.

I have made futile attempts to stand on God’s promises and fallen short. I have wondered how long this season will last. I have wondered what I did wrong and evaluated my life. I have wondered where God was and whether or not He was laughing at me.
But today He spoke to me. As I was putting the finishing touching on dinner, the lyrics to a Fred Hammond song came into my head. Since I haven’t heard it in a very long time, I knew this whisper was from God. I instructed our oldest child to bring my CDs, and I began to listen. I fully intended to go straight to that song, but God had another plan. I ended up listening to the whole thing.
I laughed, I cried. I shouted out loud. I prayed and even begged God to forgive my lack of faith. In a way that only He can, He reached out and wrapped me in His arms through each song’s message. With puffy eyes, I write this with a subtle smile. My heart feels light, and my spirit is renewed.
Though nothing in my circumstances have changed, my thoughts toward God are back where they need to be, I realize that He has been there all along. I feel loved and protected now in a way I have been missing. I feel immeasurable gratitude.
Trials come to make us stronger and to show God’s glory. By the time we pass through this, I will be stronger than Samson with the wisdom of Solomon. I have stomped on the devil’s head and let Him know who I have working for me. He has to back off now.

3 Comments

  • Sophie W.

    October 22, 2011 at 12:20 am

    This sounds like "footprints in the sand". I often feel the same as we too have experienced hard times….but you are right he does whisper to us when we least expect it to remind us he's always been there for us….love you guys!