Into the Unknown

You may have noticed that some of my posts have been talking about faith and trusting God. I’ve been giving myself little pep talks to encourage me to be obedient in the days to come. I’ve avoided talking about this for one main reason: pity. I don’t want any.

I’m being downsized. As of Tuesday, I’m a stay at home mom by default. Our company decided to close the doors completely, one phase at a time, and we are the first to go. I’ve had many mixed emotions since I’ve been navigating through the last couple of months. From shock to anger to confusion and acceptance to excitement.

I’ve been wrestling with a growing discontented restlessness for a while now. Knowing that God had placed a purpose in my heart. One that needed to be fulfilled. As a full-time working wife and mother to three, free time was in short supply. After the birth of our third, I reduced my hours some in hopes of finding a little more balance. Still time was limited, and energy, with a baby who sleeps terribly was almost non-existent.

I’ve been taking baby steps. I’ve been praying for God to be crystal clear to me. So far He has been taking me out of my carefully protected comfort zone and leading me down a path that logic did not create. Yet, most of the time my soul is bathed in a peaceful balm. I’m excited to be more involved in my home and with my family. When I think too much about the loss of income, my focus shifts, and I can feel myself sinking under the waves of uncertainty.

In the days to come, I will refer often to this song by Britt Nicole. I pray it speaks to your heart the way it speaks to me.