I Need a Man (Pt 1)

How many times have you heard this? When we’re young, we obsess over being married. We plan our weddings for years! Even when there isn’t a man in sight! As we grow from being girls to adolescents, the thoughts increase. Once we add hormones to the mix, we are an unstoppable force.

Now don’t get me wrong. I have a man, and I am glad. However, my parents did not permit me to date young. I had my first real boyfriend at 17. Many of my friends dated much, much sooner. They were involved in serious, even sexual relationships in junior high.

Very early on I was taught this phrase: Date only if they make a good mate. While I failed to heed it a time or two, I’ve never forgotten it.

So here are a few tips for finding a good man:

1. Define Good: What are the critieria? Are you realistic? Remember: Beauty fades, dumb is forever.

2. Check yourself: How secure are you? How high is your self-esteem? Are you happy being alone? Are you friends with your mirror? Do you have your own interests? Are you needy?

3. DO NOT SETTLE: Never, ever settle. It’s dangerous and stupid. Being lonely is better than being with a loser. I speak from experience. If you would not marry him, DO NOT DATE HIM!

4. Beware of missionary-dating: Girls, we can not “fix” anyone. Only God can. If his faith is weak or non-existent, run away, FAST. If he has a reputation as a player, he probably is. Pray for him from afar. No projects.

5. Value yourself, and DEMAND respect: Carry yourself like a lady if that’s how you want to be treated. Many of us dress like hookers and get mad when we’re treated as such. Leave something to the imagination. Be original.

Above all, use wisdom. Numerous times in scripture, there are references made to the value of wisdom. Proverbs 8:11 NLT says: “For wisdom is far more valuable than rubies. Nothing you desire can compare with it.” Continue reading this chapter for more insight on this topic.

If you don’t know what a good man looks like, ask God for guidance. That’s what I did. After dating a couple of duds for all the wrong reasons, I got sick of it after a very short time. I prayed that God would show me what I was looking for. He is faithful and did just that. In the coming weeks I will expand on each of these topics. Come back soon, and bring a friend.

This photo courtesy of jmacphoto